why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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