Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
