just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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