We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
