Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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