the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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