Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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