so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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