Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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