so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
