I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
