I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
