You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
