my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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