i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
