Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
