There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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