operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
