Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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