pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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