I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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