turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
