Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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