Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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