he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
