No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i dont even know how to be here
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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