I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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