i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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