I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
