I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
