i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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