I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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