I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
