he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
