So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
