i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
