i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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