So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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