Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
