remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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