i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
don't judge my taste in strippers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
