i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
