he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
