It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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