somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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