You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
