she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
