You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
