I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
