She said her name was "party"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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