only if we run a train.
done.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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